Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Well I did it.....
I've made it through the toughest 3 weeks to date....
Last week I, whats the word I'm looking for... , woke up August 7th at 1:45 with a start. And then I realized... it wasn't just a bad dream. This year it has been 19 years since my daddy, my rock, my hero, my Iron Rod, the man I looked up to for EVERYTHING has left this earth. He left us way too soon. My life has changed so very much from that day 19 years ago... not all for the better... but oh how I wish he was here. I want to share with him my kids and grand children.... oh he would be so proud of Ashlyn Grace and the beautiful and brilliant little lady she is. And the ups and downs he would have helped me through. There have been many times I cry out for him... and many times I go to the cemetery just to say hi.
Although today I didn't make it. It would have been his 85th birthday today... we buried him on his 66th birthday and let 66 purple balloons go for him... maybe I will take some balloons to him this weekend.
I also sent Chad off to school in Santa Maria to Pacific Conservatory of Performing Arts. I have cried over it for the last 3 weeks off and on... and yet yesterday.... I only cried the one time.... (sorry about that Antwon). I was actually pretty proud of myself.
Moving the twins from one room into the other, putting together an IKEA bed... and going through piles and piles of crap that has been accumulated over time (the thrift stores are going to LOVE me) but now I have Saren in her own room, Spencer in his own room, and I still have the porch light on for Chad... just hoping.... but I know he is alright... he is with great roommates and they are going to get to know each other... probably WAY more than they would like to over the next 2 years.
I have a meeting at school tomorrow and classes start on Monday.... it will be a VERY full schedule... but I have to keep my grades up!
And through all of this my wonderful husband, Rodger, is as strong as a rock!!! Goes to work early, provides for us, and does it without any complaint. I can't even imagine where I would be without him. Thank you Rodger for loving me and putting up with all that I dish out.
Okay I'm off too bed...
Good night, Just Juls